Thursday, December 23, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Lesson of the Day
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!
Lesson of the Day
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Lesson of the Day
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Lesson of the Day
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after
lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say..
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after
lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say..
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Lesson of the Day
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift..
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily
and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
A priest offered a Nun a lift..
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily
and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Lesson of the Day
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
prisoners in the air
Today on my flight I noticed a teacher working one row in front of me in the other isle seat. I am nosy, and instantly noticed he was grading papers from his students that were in letter format made out to him with his vacation as the subject.
Ironically about 4 minutes later, mid-paragraph, he fell asleep.
My ironic point being the state of our education system. It hasn't evolved nearly as quickly as we have. In the last 50 years we have seen monumental changes in farming, chemistry, computer technology, civil science, industrial production, and numerous other facets of existence.
If we were to go back 50 years and tell a computer scientist about our computers. He probably wouldn't beleiev us.
If we were rto go back and tell a mechanical engineer how much more efficient engine have become. He probably wouldn't beleive us.
Why havnt exponential teaching advancements become a social norm in America? I'd like to hear your answer. And I'd like to argue with you about it, if your answer doesn't stem from a lack of economics and capitalism in the education system... Riddle me this batman, can you name a monoply industry or organization that has helped evolve better lifestyles for people?
Ironically about 4 minutes later, mid-paragraph, he fell asleep.
My ironic point being the state of our education system. It hasn't evolved nearly as quickly as we have. In the last 50 years we have seen monumental changes in farming, chemistry, computer technology, civil science, industrial production, and numerous other facets of existence.
If we were to go back 50 years and tell a computer scientist about our computers. He probably wouldn't beleiev us.
If we were rto go back and tell a mechanical engineer how much more efficient engine have become. He probably wouldn't beleive us.
Why havnt exponential teaching advancements become a social norm in America? I'd like to hear your answer. And I'd like to argue with you about it, if your answer doesn't stem from a lack of economics and capitalism in the education system... Riddle me this batman, can you name a monoply industry or organization that has helped evolve better lifestyles for people?
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Victim in Seattle tunnel beating was charged in 2 earlier attacks
The noted historian Will Durant said, "In my youth I stressed freedom, and in my old age I stress order. I have made the remarkable discovery that freedom is a product of order."
And here we have a young member of our society who seems to believe her freedom is not to support order, but to sucker punch it.
Original Story Here:
SEATTLE –
A 15-year-old girl whose videotaped beating in the Seattle bus tunnel has drawn a national outcry has herself been charged in two earlier attacks.
The Seattle Times reported Wednesday that Aiesha Steward-Baker was given a deferred sentence last September in King County Juvenile Court after she pleaded guilty to attempted second-degree robbery for hitting a security guard at a Seattle market in January 2009. Court papers say she punched the man in the head after he stopped her friend from shoplifting.
The newspaper also says Steward-Baker is one of two girls charged in a May 23 attack on a 50-year-old woman in suburban Edmonds. Her public defender in that case, Frederick Moll, said Wednesday the girl plans to plead guilty Monday in juvenile court to second-degree robbery. Snohomish County Deputy Prosecutor John Stansell says the second girl in that case has already pleaded guilty to the same charge.
In recent days, Steward-Baker has appeared at a news conference called by another lawyer and on Monday appeared on ABC's "Good Morning America" to discuss the Jan. 28 transit tunnel attack.
And here we have a young member of our society who seems to believe her freedom is not to support order, but to sucker punch it.
Original Story Here:
SEATTLE –
A 15-year-old girl whose videotaped beating in the Seattle bus tunnel has drawn a national outcry has herself been charged in two earlier attacks.
The Seattle Times reported Wednesday that Aiesha Steward-Baker was given a deferred sentence last September in King County Juvenile Court after she pleaded guilty to attempted second-degree robbery for hitting a security guard at a Seattle market in January 2009. Court papers say she punched the man in the head after he stopped her friend from shoplifting.
The newspaper also says Steward-Baker is one of two girls charged in a May 23 attack on a 50-year-old woman in suburban Edmonds. Her public defender in that case, Frederick Moll, said Wednesday the girl plans to plead guilty Monday in juvenile court to second-degree robbery. Snohomish County Deputy Prosecutor John Stansell says the second girl in that case has already pleaded guilty to the same charge.
In recent days, Steward-Baker has appeared at a news conference called by another lawyer and on Monday appeared on ABC's "Good Morning America" to discuss the Jan. 28 transit tunnel attack.
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